Ukuxhashazwa esikoleni kusongela cishe u-2% wezingane zaseSpain
Iqiniso lokuthi izikole zivela kaningi emakhasini obugebengu emaphephandabeni kunasesigabeni semfundo namasiko libangela ukukhathazeka okukhulu phakathi kwawo wonke amalungu omphakathi wezemfundo. Ngempela, izigameko zobudlova ezikoleni zibonakala zinamandla amakhulu okuheha ukunaka komphakathi, okubangela ukwethuka okukhulu.
Isigameko esibuhlungu esihilela uJokin, umfundi wesikole samabanga aphezulu oneminyaka engu-14 ubudala owagxuma odongeni lwedolobha eGipuzkoa ngemuva kokuboshwa, siveze isidingo sokuvimbela nokugwema ubudlova ezikoleni. Kulokhu, iqembu lontanga, ikakhulukazi elinye iqembu labafundi abamhleka usulu futhi benza impilo yakhe "isihogo esiphilayo," laqeda impilo yakhe ngaphandle kokuthi kube khona okwazi ukuyimisa.
Ukuzibulala kwakhe, ngandlela thile, kusenze sonke sahlola unembeza ngendlela ebuhlungu mayelana nesenzakalo esingesisha, futhi abaningi babafundi bethu asebehlushwa yiso iminyaka eminingi, futhi okufanele sicatshangelwe ndawonye kanye nohlelo oluphuthumayo lokufundisa ngokulwa nokuxhashazwa.
Kusobala ukuthi othisha bayisihluthulelo sokushintsha. Uma singakhulisa ulwazi phakathi kothisha bethu ngemiphumela elimazayo yokuxhashazwa, izizukulwane zezingane nabazali ezizayo nazo zizokwaziswa ngakho. Ingane yanamuhla ingumzali wakusasa, futhi ngokuqeqeshwa okufanele, sonke singafinyelela umphakathi lapho ukuxhashazwa kuba yinto engavamile.
Ngakho-ke, sithemba ukuthi lolu lwazi luzoba usizo futhi lucebise ngangokunokwenzeka kuwo wonke umuntu.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkxpyX0iQm8[/youtube]
UMaria, oneminyaka engu-14 ubudala. Uyisisulu sokuxhashazwa.
Lokhu kuyinto ebhalwe yintombazane eneminyaka engu-14 ubudala. Kuyisibonelo esisodwa nje. Njengaye, izinkulungwane zezingane kulo mphakathi zihlupheka ngalokho abanye abakubiza ngokuthi “izingane nje.” Uveza kangcono kunanoma ubani ukuthi kunjani lapho omunye wezingane zethu eyisisulu sokuxhashazwa, sokuhlukunyezwa esikoleni.
IAbantu ababi bavamile; bayakucathamela, bayakusongela. Bazongithuka ngaphandle kwendlu yami. Bangisunduza, ababili bangibamba. Ekuqaleni, angishongo lutho; bathatha izicathulo zami, bazilahla, isikhwama sami sangemuva. Bangicela umqulu we-cocaine, ngathi cha. Lapho sengingaphakathi UNel nomunye umfana bazama ukungidonsela phansi ebhasini. Umshayeli wayengenandaba. Ngangesaba kakhulu. Ngatshela umama. Uhlala ethi, "Ngizokonakalisa impilo yakho, ngizokubulala." Angikunaki, ngizama ukwenza sengathi akungikhathazi. Ngayeka ukugibela ibhasi. Njalo ebusuku ngicabanga ngalokho azongikwenza kusasa. Kuyangihlazisa. Abantu ngeke bangisekele ngoba besaba. Ngolunye usuku wangijikijela ijuba elifile kanye nendle yenja. Namatshe, amaningi awo. Ngangifuna ngempela "ukunyamalala" ngoba ngangingasakwazi ukubekezelela. Empeleni. Angizange ngibone enye indlela yokuphuma. Konke kuyanqwabelana. Lokhu kanye namamaki ami kuyizinto ezikhathazayo kakhulu empilweni yami. Nginethuba elingu-5% lokuthi ngeke ngisahlupheka, ngoba kubi kakhulu kunomdlavuza, nokuthi ngizodlula ngonyaka ozayo, ukuthi ngizophumelela, nokuthi lokho kumamatheka kuzobuya kimi, ukuze ngiphinde ngijabule futhi ngigxile ezintweni ezinhle empilweni esikhundleni sezimbi.
Ukuze bonke oMariya baphinde bajabule, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi wonke umuntu—abazali, othisha, kanye nomphakathi wonke—abe nolwazi.
Kuyini ukuxhashazwa esikoleni?
Uma sikhuluma “ngokuxhashazwa esikoleni” sibhekisela ezimweni lapho umfundi oyedwa noma ngaphezulu ehlukumeza futhi esabisa omunye umfundi—isisulu—ngokuthuka, amahemuhemu, ukuhlazeka, ukuhlukaniswa nabantu, ukubizwa ngamagama ahlambalazayo, ulaka olungokomzimba, izinsongo kanye nokuphoqelelwa… okungakhula ezinyangeni ngisho neminyaka, kube nemiphumela emibi kakhulu, ikakhulukazi kumuntu ohlukunyeziwe kodwa nakubantu ababukele kanye nomhlukumezi ngokwakhe.
Ukuze sibhekisele kulezi zimo zokuhlukunyezwa, ukwesatshiswa, kanye nokuhlukunyezwa phakathi kontanga, igama lesiNgisi elithi "ukuxhashazwa" livame ukutholakala ezincwadini ezikhethekile. Ngakho-ke, sibhekisela entweni efanayo uma sikhuluma ngokuxhashazwa esikoleni, ukuxhashazwa kontanga, noma "ukuxhashazwa."
Owokuqala ukuchaza lesi simo kwakunguDan Olweus, uprofesa wezokwelapha eNyuvesi yaseBergen (eNorway, 1998), lapho ukuhlushwa, noma "ukuhlukunyezwa kontanga," kuyisibonelo sokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo okwenziwa ngumfundi oyedwa komunye, abamkhetha njengesisulu sokuhlaselwa okuphindaphindiwe. Lesi senzo esibi nesihlosiwe sibeka izisulu ezikhundleni lapho zingakwazi khona ukuzibalekela zodwa. Ukuqhubeka kwalokhu "buhlobo" kunemiphumela emibi ngokusobala ezisulwini: ukwehla kokuzethemba, ukukhathazeka, ngisho nokucindezeleka, okuvimbela ukuhlanganiswa kwazo esikoleni kanye nentuthuko evamile yokufunda kwazo.
Izimo lapho umfundi egcona omunye ngendlela enobungane noma njengomdlalo azinakubhekwa njengokuhlukumeza. Futhi azinakubhekwa njengokuhlukumeza lapho abafundi ababili bebanga elifanayo bephikisana, bephikisana, noma belwa. Izici zikhona ekuhlukumezeni:
- Isifiso sokuqala esingapheli nesingenazithiyo sokulimaza, esiqondiswe kumuntu ongenakuzivikela.
- Isifiso sivela sibe isenzo. Umuntu uyalimala. Ubukhulu nobukhulu bokulimala kuncike ekutheni abantu abathintekayo babuthakathaka kangakanani.
- Ukuhlukumeza kuqondiswe kumuntu ongenamandla, kungaba ngenxa yokuthi kukhona ukungalingani ngokomzimba noma ngokwengqondo phakathi kwezisulu kanye nabenzi bobubi, noma ngenxa yokuthi labo abahlukunyezwayo basebenza njengeqembu.
- Ukuhlukumeza akunasizathu. Kwenzeka ngokuphindaphindiwe. Lokhu kulindela ukuphindaphinda okungapheli kwesisulu yikona okwenza kube nesimo sokucindezela nokwesabisa.
- Kwenzeka ngenjabulo esobala. Umhlukumezi ujabulela ukuzithoba komuntu obuthakathaka.
Fuentes:
- UKUHLUKUNYEZWA KWESIKOLE – UMHLAHLANDLELA WOKUQONDA NOKUVIMBELA ISIMO SODLOVA. USERRATE, ROSA
- Cha ukuxhashazwa esikoleni! Duval, Stéphanie
- http://www.psicologoinfantil.com
- http://www.acosomoral.org/pdf/guia_acoso.pdf