The fear of separation

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What is separation anxiety?

The fear of separation It is the fear children suffer when they are separated from their parents, relatives, or other emotionally connected individuals. It is one of the most deeply ingrained fears of humankind due to its survival value, as loneliness makes children easy prey, with a high risk of death or harm. Practically All children suffer from this type of anxietyIt is a universal phenomenon that has also been observed in other species.

fear of separation

During childhood, different situations arise in which involuntary separation occurs:

  • schooling
  • Parents' work
  • Hospital stay
  • divorce or separation
  • Death of parents

We could also talk about certain vulnerability factors in children, which would make it easier to suffer from this type of anxiety: an overprotective parenting style; families that are closed off (children are rarely separated from their parents); an insecure relationship with caregivers; certain cognitive characteristics (such as excessive worry, undue and exaggerated attention to one's own reactions, a tendency to think about failure, etc.)

The factors that will influence the increase of this type of anxietyIn terms of duration, intensity, and frequency, they are:

  • The child's age. The younger the child, the greater the anxiety.
  • The quality of the bond between mother and child.
  • The nature of the situation. If the situation is unpredictable and uncontrollable and involves abrupt changes in the child's daily functioning.
  • Previous experiences of separation.

Around 6 months of age, separation anxiety begins. This is manifested by babies through crying and screaming when their parents leave, in order to get their attention. At this stage, these reactions tend to be less specific and differentiated from parental figures, and similar reactions occur toward other people when the child feels abandoned and alone. When it comesat two years of age Being able to walk allows them to better express their fear by running to their mother's side as soon as she moves away. At this stage, their cognitive development is greater, allowing for more specific and differentiated behavior and establishing a stable relationship with their caregivers and protectors.

fear of separation

Guidelines for Action:

As children grow and develop, they acquire new skills that allow them to become increasingly independent. Around their first birthday, they begin to walk and can gradually explore their surroundings without relying on a stroller. It is an inexorable process toward independence that will culminate in adolescence.

fear of separation

That children become independent in its operation it is one of the goals that parents must take on in their education. Gradually reducing the support the child receives from their parents will foster the development of their personal independence. It is necessary to avoid overprotection and to promote the learning of skills through learning in areas of motor coordination, language, social relations, individual behavior, personal initiative, which will result in greater personal autonomy.

It is advisable to encourage other people to interact with the child. This helps reduce excessive dependence on parents or other adults to whom the child is attached. Similarly, it's also advisable to introduce short absences at first, such as staying with grandparents for a little while, gradually increasing the length of these absences over time.

An intervention program In separation anxiety, I would create a hierarchy of situations based on the following variables:

  • Separation time
  • Separation Distance

Here's a video of Mafalda on her first day of school.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWH8Z0SrqUE[/youtube]

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