Ukuchaza njani ukufa kubantwana

Nangona singathanda ukukhusela abantwana bethu ekwazini ukufa, kuxhomekeke kuthi—njengabazali nabantu abadala abanothando—ukubanceda baqonde le nyaniso isisiseko. Sifanele sibancede baqonde iimvakalelo zabo baze basombulule uloyiko lwabo ngendlela efanelekileyo yophuhliso. Sifanele sibanike izakhono ezibalulekileyo ezisisiseko zokucinga ngengqiqo eziya kubenza bakwazi ukujongana neemeko zobomi, sibalungiselele ukuba babe nosizi oluphilileyo xa umntu abamaziyo esifa.

Qaphela oko abantwana bakho bakucingayo.

Simele sibeke ecaleni ixesha lokubona abantwana bethu kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo: ngelixa bedlala, besenza imisebenzi eyahlukeneyo, benxibelelana nabanye, okanye ngelixa behleli nje bezolile, befunda incwadi okanye bedlala ngamathoyizi abo. Ngokubamamela njengoko bethetha nathi, nabahlobo babo, kwaye nangona bethetha okanye beziculela, sinokufumana ukuqonda koko abantwana bethu bakucingayo nendlela abavakalelwa ngayo. Bakunika luphi uluvo? Athini amazwi abo? Zithini iingxaki zabo, uloyiko lwabo, kunye neenkxalabo zabo? Ngaba ukufa, okanye uloyiko olubakhuthazayo, lubonakala kwimidlalo okanye kwiincoko zabo?

Akufuneki sithethe nabo nzulu ngokufa okanye ngemiba enxulumene noko. Sifanele sikwenze oko kuphela xa kubonakala kuyinto eqhelekileyo, yendalo, kwaye imnandi kangangoko kunokwenzeka kubo bonke ababandakanyekayo. Sifanele sizame ukungabonisi uloyiko lwethu kunye namaxhala eentliziyo zethu kubantwana bethu kwaye siqaphele iimvakalelo zabo kunye namaxhala abo.

Sebenzisa amathuba okuthetha ngokufa

Ukufa kwesilwanyana sasekhaya lithuba elifanelekileyo lokwazisa abantwana bakho ngengcamango yokufa. Nangona indlela yethu yokuqala yokusabela isenokuba kukubakhusela (umzekelo, ngokususa intlanzi yegolide endlwini yangasese), kufuneka sithathe eli thuba ukuthetha ngesihloko esinzulu kangaka. Siza kubaxelela indlela intlanzi encinci eyazalwa ngayo, yaphila ngokutya, yaza ekugqibeleni yafa. Siza kubachazela ukuba intlanzi "iyeke ngokupheleleyo" ukuphila kwaye ayisayi kubuya, kwaye kulungile ukuziva ubuhlungu ngokufa kwayo. Sifanele sichaze ukuba ezi mvakalelo zosizi ziqhelekile kwaye zendalo (ziinyathelo ezisibuyisela kulonwabo) kwaye ekugqibeleni intlungu iya kuphela. Sifanele sigxininise ukuba kungcono kakhulu ukuthetha ngosizi nokuziva kunokuba ulugcine ngaphakathi uze wenze ngathi alukho. Usizi lunceda ukuphilisa inxeba, kodwa ukuba uligcina ngaphakathi, inxeba lithatha ixesha elide ukuphola.

Le ndlela ilula neyokwenyani iyasebenza kakhulu kwaye ayilibaleki kunentetho ngokufa, edla ngokungabalulekanga kangako ebantwaneni. Xa sikhokela abantwana bethu ekuqondeni ukufa, sibaxhobisa ngezixhobo ezifunekayo zokujamelana nokufa okungenakuphepheka okuya kwenzeka ebomini babo bonke.

Linda.

Ingcamango yokufa iyinkimbinkimbi, kwaye abantwana abancinci badla ngokuba nzima ukuyiqonda. Ulutsha oluqalayo ukwamkela ukufa kwalo lusenokukufumanisa kunzima ukuqonda inyani yokufa. Kuya kufuneka ube neencoko ezininzi ezizolileyo, ezinzulu, nezinobubele nabantwana bakho ukuze ubancede bakuqonde. Kufuneka ulungele ukubanika ixesha elininzi kangangoko badinga.

Kwelinye icala, simele sivumele abantwana baveze intlungu yabo, nokuba ngokukhala okanye nangayiphi na indlela. Xa singakwazi ukuveza le ntlungu, kunokukhokelela kwiimpawu zokudakumba okanye ukuziva unetyala. Kwimeko yabantwana, akufuneki nje kuphela ukubavumela ukuba baveze iimvakalelo zabo, kodwa kufuneka sibakhuthaze ukuba bakhulule iimvakalelo zabo. Kufuneka sibaxelele ukuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukukhala nokuba lusizi xa into efana nale isehlela. Abantwana baya kuphila ngokukhawuleza kwintlungu yabo ukuba abanye bayabakhuthaza ngokubabonisa ukuba banokuziveza ngokukhululekileyo nangokukhululekileyo. Ngaphezu koko, intlungu yabo inokuzibonakalisa ngeempawu ezifana noku: ukubonakala kokungcangcazela, ukuchama ebhedini, ukwanda kobundlongondlongo, utshintsho kwindlela abaqhuba ngayo esikolweni, njl.

Yiba nengqondo evulekileyo

Ukuze sicacisele abantwana bethu ngokufa, siza kusebenzisa ulwimi olulula noluthe ngqo olufanelekileyo kwinqanaba labo lokukhula, njengoko oku kuya kuthintela uloyiko kunye neengcamango eziphosakeleyo. Siza kuphendula imibuzo yabo ukuqinisekisa ukuba bayayiqonda into esiyithethayo.

Ngoko ke, ngaphambi kokuba sibachazele, kufuneka sikhumbule ukuba abantwana bacinga, bacamngce, kwaye bathetha ngokufa ngokwahlukileyo kumanqanaba ahlukeneyo okukhula kwabo. Abantu abadala abaninzi abayithathi nzulu into yokuba abantwana banomdla wokwazi ukufa kwaye bakholelwa ukuba "bancinci kakhulu ukuba bakuqonde," kodwa eneneni, ukufa kunempembelelo enkulu kubantwana bayo yonke iminyaka, ukususela ebuntwaneni ukuya ebusheni.

Indlela abantwana abajongana ngayo nomxholo wokufa ngokweminyaka yabo.

Makhe sijonge indlela yokujongana nomxholo wokufa nabantwana ngokweminyaka yabo . Ukuya kuthi ga kwiminyaka emi-3, ukufa kunxulunyaniswa nokushiywa, kunye noloyiko lokushiywa wedwa. Igama elithi "ufile" alithethi nto kubo, njengoko kule minyaka basagxile kwindlela abantu abazalwa nabaphuhla ngayo. Babona okanye bahlangabezana nokunyamalala komntu omdala "njengesohlwayo" sento abakholelwa ukuba bayenzile. Kubalulekile ukubacacisela ukuba abanatyala ngayo nantoni na.

Enye ingcamango abajongana nayo kukufa njengokungakwazi ukuhamba, kwaye bakholelwa ukuba abantu abadala banamandla onke. Amava okufa abakhokelela ekubeni bazibuze ukuba kutheni "bengenakukwazi" ukukoyisa, kwaye ngenxa yoko, ukuthembana kwabo abazali babo ngaphandle kwemiqathango kuyaphela.

Phakathi kweminyaka emine ukuya kwemihlanu, kukho inguqu encinci ebonwayo. Phakathi kweminyaka emithathu ukuya kwemihlanu, abantwana badla ngokujonga ukufa njengento eguqukayo neyokwexeshana. Linqanaba lomdla omkhulu ekufeni, kodwa abakakwazi ukukuqonda njengesiganeko esingenakulungiswa nesiqinisekileyo. Ngenxa yokuba abantwana abaneminyaka emine okanye emihlanu ubudala bathi ubomi buvela kuzo zonke izinto ezikhoyo, bakholelwa ukuba abafileyo ekugqibeleni baya kubuyela ebomini. Badibanisa ukufa nokwaluphala nokugula, kunye nemfazwe neziganeko zobundlobongela.

Amava okufa kweli xesha aza kubabangela uloyiko olukhulu: ukulala bodwa… Abantu abadala kufuneka balumke kakhulu ngesigama sabo: “ukufa” asiko “ukulala”! Kule minyaka, abaqondi ukufa njengokuvalelisa kokugqibela. Abakakwazi ukuqonda ezi ndlela zintathu zichazayo:

1. Ukufa kuchaphazela bonke abantu.
2. Ukufa akunakuphepheka.
3. Ukufa kukugqibela.

Ukususela kwiminyaka emithandathu ukuya phambili, abantwana baya kuqonda ukuba ukufa kunjani kwaye akunakuguqulwa, esikhankanye ngako ngaphambili, kwaye akuyi kubakho mithetho xa sithetha nabo ngako. Ukuya kuthi ga kwiminyaka elishumi, abakholelwa ukuba kunokwenzeka kubo. Kubantu abanokholo nabakhulisa abantwana babo kuloo kholo, le nto ilula, kuba ukukholelwa kubomi obungunaphakade kuguqula oku kwahlukana kube lithemba lokudibana kwakhona nomntu abamthandayo phambi koThixo. Kwabo banezi nkolelo zonqulo, kunokuba yintuthuzelo enkulu ukwabelana ngengcinga yokuba nokuba umntu uyafa aze angcwatywe (umzimba wakhe), umphefumlo okanye umoya wakhe unyukela kwelinye ihlabathi.

Ukuba usapho alunalo unqulo (ngokwembono yobuKristu) singabaxelela ukuba asazi ukuba kwenzeka ntoni emva kokufa, kodwa into ebalulekileyo kukuphila ubomi obunesidima.

Imithombo:

• Indlela yokwazisa ukufa ebantwaneni?
• Ukuthetha nabantwana ngokufa
• Ukuchaza njani ukufa kubantwana